


The Rookie

by YappiChick



Category: Despicable Me (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Pre-Movie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-20
Updated: 2013-12-20
Packaged: 2018-01-05 07:37:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1091305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YappiChick/pseuds/YappiChick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Don’t you remember what he said the first day you got hired? ‘We are looking for secret agents, not soldiers.’ And secret agents don’t sit around while some criminal mastermind is plotting evil against their city.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Rookie

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MsCongeniality](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsCongeniality/gifts).



> Happy Yuletide! I hope you enjoy your fic! 
> 
> I did try to stay true to the world of Despicable Me in that the villains are more comic book like than truly evil, but don't let that fool you, Lucy can still kick cheekily named villian's butt from here to next Tuesday. :D

Being an agent wasn’t exactly how Lucy pictured it would be.

She hadn’t expected her life to become an action movie over night, but after a week of shadowing Agent Colette Williams, doing nothing more than paperwork and sifting through months old surveillance, Lucy wondered if she had overestimated just how exciting this job would be.

“It gets better,” Colette had told her earlier in the week. “Ramsbottom just likes to rile new hires.”

She must have been right because that morning all of the agents, excluding her and Colette, were given a special assignment. Ramsbottom had left the two of them with a scowl and emphatic instructions to stay in the building until everyone returned.

Twenty minutes after everyone had cleared out, Lucy looked over at Colette. The older agent didn’t seem at all bothered by the fact that they were stuck in the Agency’s headquarters. Lucy forced herself to follow Colette’s lead; there would be other assignments for her in the future.

She turned on her computer, ready to start her daily paperwork.

“What do you think you’re doing, Wilde?” Colette frowned.

“I’m doing our paperwork. Like Ramsbottom told us to.”

“Don’t you remember what he said the first day you got hired? ‘We are looking for secret agents, not soldiers.’ And secret agents don’t sit around while some criminal mastermind is plotting evil against their city.” Colette opened her desk drawer and pulled out a large shrink ray. She didn’t miss Lucy’s impressed look. “My baby...what about you, Wilde? You armed?”

Lucy picked up her bag and patted the side. Her lipstick taser was there. Unassuming and powerful, much like herself. “I’m ready.”

/*-/*-/*-/*-

Lucy had never been on an active mission before, but it didn’t take her long to realize that something must have gone wrong.

There were no agents patrolling the area; there were a half-dozen empty cars on the side of the building. Colette tried to open a communication channel with any of the agents, but the radio stayed silent. 

“They must have been tipped off. We need to get inside and find out what happened.”

Lucy looked at the unremarkable building. There were no entrances on this side, which was why Ramsbottom had chosen for them to meet there before entering the building. Lucy looked on the ground. There were no fallen weapons, no signs of a struggle. It was as if they all gave up without a fight.

"Do you think they aborted the mission?" Lucy asked.

"It still doesn't explain why no one is answering their comms." Colette frowned as she moved to open the door. She had stashed her shrink ray in the backseat on the ride over. "No, something went wrong, Wilde. I know it.

Before Colette could retrieve her weapon, they heard footsteps coming in their direction. Lucy lay flat on the ground and looked under the car. She counted two pairs of feet approaching them.. She looked over at Colette who had hidden behind their sedan and held up two fingers.

Colette nodded slightly.

Though they had only known each other for a few days, Lucy could read the expression on Colette's face. She was counting down the seconds until they started their attack.

Three...two...one.

Lucy rolled just as one of the guards started to walk by. She swung her leg out, catching the unsuspecting man by surprise. He stumbled forward, giving Lucy just enough time to jump up. She jammed her elbow into his stomach then brought her fist up to his face.

He was on the ground, moaning in pain.

Lucy turned as Colette plowed her fist into the other guard’s jaw. He crumpled to the ground.

Colette looked over and nodded in approval. “Not bad for a rookie, Wilde.”

Lucy smothered a small smile. Now wasn’t the time to get flustered for a sentence of praise. They still had to figure out what happened to the other agents and Ramsbottom.

Collette pilfered the card key from the guard next to her and Lucy did the same. “According to the debriefing notes, they were going to go through the east entrance and try to catch everyone off guard. Clearly that didn’t work out.” 

Lucy pulled out her tablet and pulled up the schematic of the building. “There’s an access panel on the north side. We could go in through there.”

Colette reached in and grabbed her shrink ray. “Let’s do it.”

They crept in the shadows as they carefully made their way to the other side of the building. They didn’t see any other guards, but time was short; once someone discovered the two men by their car, people would be searching for them.

Soon, Lucy could see the grate that would lead them inside the building. She looked around the open area, decided it was safe and made her way to the side of the building. Colette was right behind her.

Lucy pulled out a screwdriver from her case and set to work on opening the grate. 

“Wilde, I hate to be the barer of bad news, but I’m not going to fit in there.”

Lucy paused and looked at her. “I’m pretty sure we can--” Colette gestured to the large bazooka sized shrink ray strapped to her back. “--Oh...Well, we’ll just find another way in.”

“I’ll find another way in. You get in there and see if you can figure out what’s going on.”

On her own? Lucy had been waiting for this chance since Ramsbottom hired her. Still, it felt strange to leave Colette on her own. Her hesitation must have shown on her face because Colette smirked, “Don’t worry, Wilde. I’ve got this. This isn’t my first rodeo, you know.”

Lucy nodded. Colette was right; they were both capable agents. They could do this.

“If you see anything, contact me.” She tapped her earpiece.

Lucy mimicked her actions. “Will do.”

Colette melted back into the shadows at Lucy finished unscrewing the last screw. She quietly set down the grate on the ground and crawled into the small hole. 

The vent was smaller than she expected, but it didn’t bother her. She scooted along the ventilation shifts as quietly as she could. She was making her way to the wing of the building where the agents entered the building so she could, hopefully, figure out what was going on. 

Still, despite the danger she was in, Lucy felt almost giddy. _This_ was what she expected when she had submitted her application to the Agency. Danger, yes. But, the ability to do something that was bigger than herself.

Just as she was making another impossibly tight turn, Colette's voice sounded in her ear. “I’m in the west wing, Wilde. And it’s not looking good.”

Lucy stopped. “Did you find them?”

“Not yet, but I know who’s running this operation. Dr. Niles Somina.”

The notorious N. Somnia? He was in the top three most dangerous criminals and she was going to face him? 

“You do know his M.O., right?”

“Of course.” Lucy turned a corner. “He was a leading neurologist who became obsessed with trying to control people’s sleep patterns and their dreams.”

“Then you know he dropped off the grid when Vector and Gru started their climb to power. Now that both of them are no longer a threat, it seems like he’s trying to squirm his way back into thing. Hope you got your beauty rest, Wilde.”

Falling asleep wasn't going to be a problem; with all the adrenaline running through her, Lucy didn’t think she was going to be able to sleep for a week. 

“I’m going to head towards the observation bays. It’s the only place that is big enough to hold all of the agents in one location. You need to get here as quickly--” There was a long pause. “Someone’s coming.”

The channel closed.

Lucy moved as fast as she could, not particularly caring about the sounds her knees were making against the metal. Colette was in trouble.

Finally, she made it to the west wing of the building. She looked through the vent holes to see if she could see anyone, but the room she was above seemed clear. With a swift, firm kick, she kicked out the grate.

She winced as the grate hit the ground, making as much noise as it possibly could have. When it finally landed, she held her breath for five seconds, waiting for the sound of footsteps rushing to see what happened, but there was nothing but silence.

A sigh of relief passed through her lips as she lowered herself to the ground. 

She opened her comm channel “Agent Williams?”

Nothing.

Lucy reached inside her purse and pulled out her lipstick taser. She wasn't about to walk around unarmed. Then, she started to make her way out to the hallway.

The passage was lit with dim overhead lights. Shadows danced on the walls, but there was no sign of any one around.

She crept down the hallway, moving towards the observation rooms. Hopefully, she could reach Colette and she could find out the exact location of the other agents.

She stopped when she reached a T-junction. Left or right?

She peered around the corner. She couldn’t see anyone to her left, but suddenly she heard voices coming from the right. 

Lucy moved back so that she wouldn’t give away her position, but the voices didn’t seem to be getting any closer. She slowly looked down the hallway where she had heard the people talking.

They were too far away for her to make out the words. She needed to know what was going on. She moved in that direction, careful to make sure her footsteps didn’t echo off the floor. 

Soon, she was able to recognize Colette’s voice. “You’re going to pay for this.”

Laughter that sounded more like a strangled bark filled the air. “No no, my dear, I will get paid for this. There’s a difference.”

Lucy stopped walking. Based on the volume, they were in the room right ahead of her. 

The door was opened a crack, but there wasn’t enough room for her to see what was happening. 

“You’re not getting--”

Her sentence was cut off by something that sounded suspiciously like a tranquilizer gun being fired. “Night night, Agent Williams. I’m sure your subconscious will prove to be most interesting.” 

Lucy barely had time to hide herself when the man with a dark pair of sunglasses came out. Collette was thrown over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Whatever he had done to her had knocked her out cold.

Lucy trailed him, staying far enough away from being detected. Finally, he came to a large security door with a keypad to its side. Lucy’s eyes didn’t move away from his hand as he typed in the code 5-2-5-6. She committed the number to memory.

As much as she wanted to continue following Dr. Somnia, she knew that the door led to the observation room. Her lipstick taser might be trusty against fighting someone one on one, but she didn't know how many henchmen were behind the door. She needed to arm herself better for the confrontation that lay behind the doors.

Collette’s shrink ray should be on the ground in the room where the doctor had attacked her. She quickly retraced her steps. 

When she made it back to where she had heard Colette and Somnia talking, she walked inside the room where Colette had been attacked. There, in the middle of the floor, lay Collette’s shrink ray. It was a little more bulky than Lacy was accustomed to, but she, being the good agent she was, would adapt.

Except…

She took a step closer to it and frowned. The chamber had been destroyed; it looked like Somnia had crushed it with his foot. The gun was worthless.

It would have been easy for Lucy for to feel despair. It was sitting there, on the edge of her thoughts, but she wouldn’t allow her panic to come into fruition. 

This was what being an agent was all about, finding a way to do the impossible.

She took a moment to look around the room that was obviously Somnia’s office. Pictures of pillows covered the walls; a figure that she assumed was supposed to be The Sandman stood proudly on the desk in the center of the room; his bookshelves were lined with books such as “Subconscious Thoughts: Reaching Lower Levels of Humanity” and “DO Let the Bedbugs Bite.”

She pulled herself from her assessement. Now wasn’t the time to question his tastes in reading materials, she reminded herself. 

She walked to his desk and opened the drawers. If someone would have a weapon at their immediate disposal, it would be a villain like Somnia. 

The top drawer was filled with pens and paper clips. The one below held eye masks and boxes of Breathe Right strips. The bottom one was quite securely locked.

Lucy reached up and pulled the lock pick out of her hair. She knew this multi-tasker would come in handy. She finagled the pick in the keyhole until she heard the satisfying click and the tumblers turning.

She tucked the pick back into place and opened the drawer. There was a small dart gun and several vials next to it. That must have been what he drugged Colette with. 

She grabbed everything out of the drawer and exited the room. She loaded a dose of the drug and started making her way to the observation room.

She walked up to the keypad and typed in the code. With the green lit blinked, the door slid opened. 

She drew in a deep breath. This was it. Time to save her fellow agents.

She stepped inside expecting to see a dozen or so guards protecting their boss, but all she saw were two lines of cots, each with an agent on them. Every person was hooked up to some sort of machine, asleep.

Somnia was at the other end of the room, talking to someone on video chat. Lucy couldn’t be sure who was he was communicating with from where she stood; it didn’t matter. It was time to end this charade.

She carefully walked up to the bed closest to her. When she was certain Somnia couldn’t see her from his position, she stood up. Agent Knight was laying on the bed in a fitful sleep.

Lucy looked at the monitor that was attached to the nodes on his scalp. They were showing a grainy image of the scariest clowns she had ever seen.

She shook his shoulder. “Wake up, Agent Knight. We need to get everyone out of here.”

He continued to sleep.

Not wanting to waste time, she moved to the next agent. This time the monitor showed snakes everywhere. Was Somnia projecting thoughts into their minds? Again, she tried to wake her fellow agent up, but it was no use.

She found Colette on the other side of the room. She had been thrown over the side of the cot. The nodes had been hastily placed on her head. Briefly, Lucy considered removing them, but she stopped herself. 

Until she knew what was going on, she wasn’t going to risk the safety of her friend.

Lucy looked at the monitor besides Colette. There was a violent thunderstorm on it. Lucy remembered that earlier in the week Colette mentioned that she couldn’t stand lightning.

Suddenly, Lucy knew what was happening. Somnia wasn’t feeding them images, he was extracting the agent’s biggest fears.

This was going to end now!

She turned her focus to Somnia. As she approached him, she could see the looming figure of Mr. Perkins, the President of the Bank of Evil, on the screen. He looked positively giddy. 

Somnia kept talking, obviously to Lucy's presence. “They have almost reached REM sleep. In minutes, their secrets will be yours.”

Lucy jumped out. “Not if I have anything to say about it!”

The doctor looked up, startled. “I’ll have to call you back.” He got up from his chair and moved to stand in front of Lucy. “Who are you?”

“I’m Agent Wilde. And I’m here to wake everyone up.”

He laughed. “My dear, that won’t be happening, I’m afraid. They are quite snug in their beds, ready to reveal their fears with me.”

“Why?”

“Because I have an interested buyer. Mr. Perkins is quite interested in rebuilding the evil empire as fast as he can. It did take quite a blow after the whole moon ordeal.” He clapped his hands together. “He promised me a pretty penny if I deliver the agent’s weaknesses.”

“Money? It’s about money?” Her grip on the shrink ray faltered.

“You must be new here. It’s always about money.” A wicked smile passed over his face. “Can you imagine how much moola this database will bring me? I might finally be able to retire. I hear Costa Rica is beautiful this time of year.”

“Dr. Somnia, I can’t let you do that.”She readied the shrink ray. 

“You are powerless to stop me.”

“We’ll see about that!”

The old man was a better fighter than Lucy has first assumed. She threw a fist at his jaw, but he brought up his hand and deflected her blow. He twisted her arm out of the way, as he threw a punch of his own in her direction. She ducked as his fist came forward, then rolled forward.

She stood a few feet away from him, watching his hands closely. She was not going to underestimate him again.

"You've got some fight in you. I like that. Most of these agents, especially Ransbottom, are _so_ boring." A wicked grin spread across his face. "I'm sure your subconscious is going to be most entertaining."

"I don't think so." She threw a punch at him.

He easily sidestepped her attack, but she wasn’t concerned with making contact. She dropped to the ground and threw her leg out, causing him to stumble forward. The extra time allowed her to reach into her bag and pull out her lipstick taser. 

Somnia looked up at her, disgust on his face. “Really? You think now is the time to powder your nose?" 

“Not quite.” She aimed the taser at him and fired. 

He crumbled on the ground. "You-- you tricked me." Despite the volts coursing through him, that creepy smile returned. "You're quite the agent."

She looked at the cowering man before her. "I am, aren't I?" She reached in her bag with her free hand and pulled out the tranquilizer gun. Before he could protect, she fired a single shot into his shoulder. Instantly, he fell asleep.

“Sweet dreams, Dr. Somnia.”

/*-/*-/*-/*-/*-

“Agent Wilde, you continue to surprise me.”

Ramsbottom looked up from the tablet. Despite the approving words, his scowl was firmly in place. 

“Agent Williams believes that you are ready to spread your wings and fly on your own. Based on everything I have read in this report, I’m inclined to agree.”

Lucy couldn’t keep the smile off her face.

Ramsbottom scowl deepened. “Your work will only get more difficult from here on out, Agent. You will see things that you could hardly begin to imagine.” He leaned forward. “Are you ready for this?”

Lucy met his gaze unflinchingly. “Yes.”

“Very well.” He slid the tablet across his desk. “This is your new assignment.”

She scanned the details. “You want me to bring Felonius Gru here?”

He nodded smugly. She could tell he didn’t think she was up for the challenge. She stood up confidently. “Thank you, sir.”

She walked out of his office. Colette was waiting by the door. “New assignment?”

Lucy nodded, handing her the tablet. “Gru, huh? Good luck getting him here. I hear he’s busy with kids now.”

“I’ll have him here before lunch.”

Colette smirked. “If anyone can, it’s you, Wilde.”


End file.
